Friday, June 18, 2010

Is it worth it? (vent)

When is it OK to take a risk to pursue your dream?

My whole life I wanted to be a mommy, I had 2 miscarriages before I gave birth to Jaliyah. She is everything to me, she is sleeping on me right now as I type this and I wouldn't have it any other way! While trying to balance being a first time mommy, I am also going to college to pursue a Business degree. The other dream I've had my entire life is to own my own business.

I got laid off from my job at a dealership about a year before Jaliyah was born so I planned on going back to work after she was about 3 months old. She is now a little over 2 months old so that time is approaching. HOWEVER, last week I had an idea for a company and I so badly want to pursue it and see where it takes me. This is what I've wanted to do for so long and I finally have an idea that could work!

But...there's always a but. Jaliyah's daddy works and makes OK money, but I don't think it's enough for me to be a stay at home mom much longer. Originally, that was the plan anyways - for me to go back to work - and I really didn't have a problem with it. But now, I have this idea and I feel so torn.

I just don't know if it's worth the risk of the business possibly failing, and end up going back to work anyways. It's frustrating beyond belief..I want to be there for Jaliyah's first word, first step, first everything but maybe it's just not feasible right now?

Anyways..I'm excited for the thunderstorms that are on their way! It'll be Jaliyah's first!


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